Mon 20 Jul 2009
To Thine Own Self
Posted by Amanda under General, Musings
[5] Comments
Shakespear wrote a quote in his play “Hamlet” that I’d like to share with you.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
This thought process began when I was reading a book called “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.” In the last few chapters of the book, the author talks about being self-compassionate. He talks about forgiving ourselves for the rubbish we get ourselves into. I was reminded of this recently with two incidents in my life.
I had a conversation with a friend recently and they expressed their embarrassment and outrage at themselves for the “mistakes” they’ve made in their life. Hearing the shame mingled with guilt reminded me how important it is that we take time to forgive ourselves. Life is a process.
The second situation happened to me. I was invited to a birthday party and the people attending are beautiful women. They are stylish, they know how to apply every kind of make-up (as foreign an art to me as tai chi) and they know how to walk in heels. (May as well get me trying to walk a tight-rope.) I was feeling frumpy, inadequate, ugly etc etc. I was grumpy with Marc (poor Marc) and having a hard time coming to terms with the mirror. It turned out that they expressed envy for my happiness and my chosen life-style.
All this led me to the quote I share with you today. Growing up in church circles, the emphasis is put on loving your neighbours and loving your enemies. Delicately ignored is loving thyself. Often I find that I am my own enemy and my constant neighbour, but I neglect myself. I do not set boundaries when I need to, I do not listen to my body when I need down time, I do not encourage myself or take time to realize my accomplishments because I am moving onto the next task. At 27, I am just learning the value of this lesson.
Thus I am reminding you, dear reader, forgive yourself, be compassionate to yourself when you are having a hard day. Be gentle instead of judgemental. To thine own self be true. I’ll give it a try too.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:18 am
I love the point you’ve made of being ‘my own enemy and my constant neighbor.” I never thought of that before. It seems there is a stigma that if you think of yourself in situations that others see you are thinking of yourself you are branded as selfish. This needs to stop as the well being of ourselves is vital to achieving happiness on a daily basis. Thank you again Amanda for your great blogging!
July 21st, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Thank you Danielle. Glad you enjoy it.:)
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:08 pm
It’s interesting that the women who look like they have it “all together” (if walking in heels means that you “have it all together” ha ha) envy your happiness, it means that they aren’t. There is a peace about us when we stop striving to please all those around us by buying in to the (false) concepts of what is (not actually) expected of us, and instead being true to the person who God made you to be. I have lots of thoughts running around my head and I’m not able to catch them all to put them into words. I guess the base of it is that there is peace when we see the trappings of this world as the lies that they are. Peace when we are able to see the beauty the Lord has given around us (like fresh toms and blueberries!) in the grand scope of what life is in its very essence.
And I can teach you to walk in heels if you wanted to!!!!
And I think you are one of the more beautiful women that I know. (Does that sentence make sense…it’s late and I don’t think I’m forming proper sentences anymore!!)
xo
July 24th, 2009 at 6:39 am
If we have the Spirit of God living in us, focusing on our own insecurities and shortcomings and past sins or sins we currently struggle with will cripple us every time if we are not finding security in the One who has set us free from all that.
“This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts” 1 John 3:19-20a
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son” Romans 8:1-3b
Basically, we do not find confidence in ourselves. We cannot. It is only through what Christ has overcome “for” us that we have any confidence and hope at all. To wait around for that time when I am somehow able to forgive myself for bad choices and mistakes I’ve made (and continue to make) is futile. Attempting this may also indicate that I place more value on my own ability to forgive rather than relying upon the ultimate sacrifice, which is Christ Jesus himself.
I hope this encourages you! It certainly does me. What God accomplished on the cross for me is greater than my feelings. Praise the Lord.
July 26th, 2009 at 7:55 am
I’d have to say that you are anything but frumpy! And yes, I think we do need to remember to forgive ourselves, afterall, Jesus forgives us. I love that you are so willing to be honest with yourself and your readers. What is it about us that so desperately wants to appear that we have arrived when we are all pilgrims. “Blessed are those whose hearts are set on pilgrimage,” from the book of Psalms…and “Insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. I waited for sympathy, but there was none; for comforters, but found no one…the Lord listens to the needy and does not despise his own who are prisoners (& and I would add, even prisoners of their own condemnation)”. Psalm 69
I love the Shakespearean quote and I feel sad that it is so often misunderstood. It speaks to me of humility. If we are true about who we are, that truth spills over to others. “Thou canst then not be false to any man.” Remembering who I am creates compassion for my brothers and sisters. I no longer set myself up as superior to them but rather offer sympathy and comfort as a fellow traveller.
Thank you for sharing.xx